When I was young I asked myself.. what would I like to be when I grow up.  I said to myself... "maybe I could be a successful business woman someday just like my father".   But then again I said .. "Nope I don't want to be a business woman.  I want to be a lawyer, so I could help those oppressed people who can't afford to have a lawyer... yeah that's it!"  But it didn't turned out that way, cause here I am right now, finished with my business course, Hotel and Restaurant Management.  Funny isn't it?  No matter how hard we tried to follow our dreams ...DESTINY steps in.  Just like in a relationship.  No matter how hard we try to make things work out with our dear loved one, there will still be struggles, sadness and selfish expectations. But please don't get me wrong. Right now I am in a good relationship to a guy who loves me so much and likewise.  We may have good times and bad times together but it's all part of a relationship.  But lately uncertainties is eating me up.  And this is becoming unfair to him.  Sometimes though he won't say it, I know and I can feel that I'm beginning to piss him off.  But he won't say it directly.  The last time we had a fight he said that, " lately we are having arguments over jealousy and  may I add, small petty reasons on your side."  And that makes him sad cause he is doing the best that he can to make our relationship lasts.  Even when he is sick, he tries his best to communicate with me but he felt that I don't appreciate his effort and he thinks that he is no longer needed in the relationship.  Whenever I ask him," if  you are no longer happy with me, then what do you want now? " and all he would say.. "I want you to stay with me, for the rest of my life."  With those words, my heart melt, cause after all the way I treated him, he is still in love with me.  And I also love him with my dear life.  And no wonder, if I won't change my ways ( jealous over nothing, just pure uncertainties), I may regret of losing him.  And I would really blame myself for it.  And when that day comes ... I don't know what would become of me, cause he is my life now and my everything.